THE BISHOP OF CHESTER
Anyone who knows my views on homosexuality will not be surprised to learn that The Bishop of Chester has my full
support when he advocates that
'gays' should make efforts to reorientate themselves with the help of a psychiatrist.
I would further advocate that anyone who believes in
the teachings of the bible, without first taking a very large pinch of salt, should
also make efforts to reorientate themselves with the help of a psychiatrist. For
hard on the heels of the Bishop's preachings we have another theologian sticking his oar in,
this one batting
for the other side. Arguing in the face of the fact that the bible states
specifically that homosexuality is a mortal sin, this eccliastical loony maintains that
the bible should not be taken too literally and that its teachings
can be interpreted in a number of different ways - which is another way of saying that
they can mean anything you want them to mean. Personally I can't see for the life of me
that stating that homosexuality is a mortal sin can be interpreted as anything other than that
homosexuality is a mortal sin; but what I can see, and most definitely, is that some other
teachings in the bible
might be open
to different interpretations, and especially so by loonies. So we could well get this -
Scene. A crypt.
VICAR:
Verger! What on earth do you think you're doing with young Lionel?
VERGER:
Just following the teachings of the good book, Your Reverence.
VICAR:
There is nothing in the bible that encourages sex with a choirboy, Mr Prodromis.
VERGER:
Go forth and multiply, Your Reverence.
VICAR:
I beg your pardon?
VERGER:
That's what the bible says. Go forth and multiply.
VICAR:
Go forth and multiply means procreate, Mr Prodromis. Further the human race.
With your wife.
VERGER:
Well that's just your interpretation of it, with respect. My interpretation of it
is that if you haven't got a wife to procreate with you can practice procreating by having sex with a choirboy, whilst
at the same time helping
with his education.
VICAR:
Tommyrot. How can you possibly reconcile going forth and multiplying with having
sex
with a choirboy whilst at the same time helping with his education?
VERGER:
I'll show you. Ready Lionel?
LIONEL:
Ready, Mr Prodromis.
VERGER:
Along with me then. Once two is two, two twos are four, three twos are six....
try to keep up lad......
|
