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| NORTHERN BOOKS THEY'RE GRAND! |
Set in the year 2006, the long awaited sequel to the epic Wuthering Heights. The wind is once again paramount to the story as Catherine Earnshaw's great granddaughter Becky is greatly troubled by flatulence, causing her tights to smell. Will brooding, dashing young doctor Cliff Heath find a cure to her problem, and his torrid affair with Becky blossom into marriage, or will making a hole in the crotch of her tights not be enough? |
A masterclass in how to feel sorry for yourself. Over 100 Liverpudlians were inteviewed in depth in the compiling of this definitive guide to whingeing and self pity. An absolute must for any scally or wacker who wants to moan that they can't hold down a job because they can't trouble themselves to get out of bed in the morning. Free 'Boris Johnson Is A Twat' badge with every copy. |
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'Even though the surgeons at Bolton Royal Hospital had managed to save Meg Oldfield's foot, after Fred Dibnah had accidentally run over her foot with his steamroller, Stan Oldfield's wife would always walk with a severe limp. Now, as Meg stepped outside for the first time since she came out of hospital, and felt the familiar cobbles under her feet, she heard a sudden roar behind her and turned to see a falling factory chimney almost upon her.......' I couldn't put it
down - Peter Kay |
The latest romantic novel from the man who put the tit in Titchmarsh. The author proves yet again that as a writer of fiction he is an excellent gardener. I couldn't pick it up
- Peter Kay |
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Sir Michael Parkinson finally emerges into the sunlight from up the arses of all the celebrities he has interviewed in his chat show to tell the world just what it is like to be a Yorkshireman. Chapters include Holidaying On A Shoestring, How To Go About Borrowing A Shoestring, and How to Hang On To The Shoestring You've Borrowed Until The Bugger You Borrowed It Off Dies Of Old Age. |
Downstairs cook Catherine falls pregnant by her employer Ephraim Ardbastard's son Grant, who offers to marry her. When Ardbastard discovers Grant's plans he forbids the marriage and sends him to the West Indies on the next boat. Catrherine is about to set out in search of him when her widower father tells her he has cancer of the kidneys and hasn't got long to live unless he has a transplant. Catherine puts her father first and stays to care for him - but fate takes a hand when Ardbastard is also found to have kidney cancer. It is discovered that Catherine is the only suitable donor for both her father and Ardbastard - and Ardbastard will bring home his son and allow him to marry Catherine if she will let him have one of her kidneys and thus save him. As Catherine struggles with the problem of whether to save he father or save Ardbastard and thus ensure her future with Grant the reader wonders why he is drawn into reading potboilers like this regurgitated plotting by numbers claptrap. |
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A veritable treasure trove of Northern humour, feauring the work of all the top Northern comics, including - Ken Dodd - 'My father was an old time great - my mother used to blacklead him.' Les Dawson - 'The only time I ever had casual sex was one night when the wife carried on knitting.' John Prescott - 'Get your knickers down you're on next.' |
Exciting new ways with scrag end, tripe, cowheel, haslet, savoury duck and black pudding. Handy hints from a top Michelin chef include a recipe for Michelin tyre dauphinoise. Many traditional recipes from the depression era including rat stew .. I couldn't keep it
down - Peter Kay |
| 'Northern Books are bigger page turners than a homosexual King '- A
homosexual King NONE OF THESE BOOKS HAVE BEEN RECOMMENDED BY RICHARD AND JUDY SO THERE'S A CHANCE THEY'LL BE READABLE |