| OG: |
Right then lads, I’ve got something new for
us to try.
|
| MOG: |
What have you come up with this time,
Og?
|
| OG: |
Herbs, Mog. I think they could be very useful for
improving the taste of our food.
|
| TOG: |
Good, something like that would be handy,
brontosaurus stew can be a bit bland sometimes.
|
| OG: |
Right. Now I’ve got four herbs for us to
try, so that’s one each. (STARTS TO HAND HERBS OUT TO THE OTHERS) Here
Tog, you can try the parsley.
|
| TOG: |
Right you are, Og.
|
| OG: |
I will try the tarragon. You can try the
rosemary, Mog.
|
| MOG: |
(TAKES THE ROSEMARY) Oh this is a pretty one,
isn’t it.
|
| OG: |
And you, Bog, you can try the hemlock. Now I want
you all to add your herb to your brontosaurus stew tonight, then we’ll all
meet…..
|
| BOG: |
Just a minute.
|
| OG: |
Yes, what is it Bog?
|
| BOG: |
Why is it me who has to test the
hemlock?
|
| OG: |
Well what’s wrong with you testing the
hemlock?
|
| BOG: |
Well there’ll be something wrong with it,
won’t there, there always is. I mean I always get the dodgy things to
test.
|
| OG: |
What do you mean?
|
BOG:
Well like the time you invented weapons
for warding off ferocious bears. And Mog tested the big stone club, Tog tested
the spear, you tested the bow and arrow, and I tested the windmill on a stick..
I mean I was in dock for six months after that bear had finished with
me.
|
| TOG: |
I don’t think you got the best out of your
weapon really, Bog.
|
| BOG: |
A windmill on a stick? What was I supposed to do
with it, stick it up the bear’s arse and hope the wind would blow it away?
No, you lot are having me for a sucker.
|
| MOG: |
No we aren’t, Bog.
|
| BOG: |
Yes you are, I mean I was called Nog until Og
invented bathroom facilities, and…..
|
| OG: |
I don’t think we want to go down that
road.
|
| BOG: |
I didn’t want to climb down that three
hundred feet deep cave with a bucketful of sawdust every time I wanted a crap,
but I had to do it!
|
| TOG: |
You’re just imagining that you always get
the worst things to test, Bog.
|
| BOG: |
Oh no I’m not. I mean it was the same when
Og invented birth control.
|
| OG: |
Birth Control?
|
| BOG: |
You know, when we tested things to stop us
fathering children. And you tested the condom, Mog tested the birth pill, Tog
tested the withdrawal method, and I tested the barrelful of crabs with a hole
bored in it,.
|
| OG: |
Well it worked, didn’t it, I mean you
didn’t father any children that day, did you.
|
| BOG: |
I’ll never be able to father any children
again! I mean I wouldn’t mind, but it’s every time. I always cop for
it.
|
| OG: |
Now that just isn’t true, Bog. I mean what
about the time I invented fast food? You know, doner kebabs, piece a pizza and
things?
|
| BOG |
I got the nastiest thing then,
too!
|
| OG: |
Oh no you did not Bog, because Tog tested the
minced worms sandwich.
|
| BOG: |
Yes and I tested the Big Mac.
|
| OG: |
Oh yes, sorry, I was
forgetting.
|
| BOG: |
No you weren’t, you do it on purpose, you
always give me the worst thing to try out. Every time, without fail. Pastimes
– you, Trivial Pursuits, Mog, Birdwatching, Tog, Brass Rubbing, me,
jumping off a cliff and trying to land on my head. Wine – you, Bordeaux,
Mog,Burgundy, Tog, Domestica, me,Domestos. And what about when you invented
riding, eh? What about when you invented riding last week, when we all had to
ride a different animal to test its suitability as a means of transport? When
you tested the horse, Mog tested the donkey, Tog tested the camel, and I tested
the crocodile?
|
| OG: |
Look Bog, nobody is sorrier than we are that the
crocodile bit your legs off but……
|
| MOG: |
Nobody is sorrier, Bog.
|
| TOG: |
Nobody.
|
| BOG: |
I mean what use am I now, eh? I’m finished.
I’m not good for anything now.
|
| OG; |
Well of course you aren’t finished, Bog. In
fact you’ll be perfect for the next thing we’re going to try out.
Football.
|
| BOG: |
Football?
|
| OG: |
Yes. When I will be the striker, Mog will be the
mid-fielder, Tog will be the goalkeeper, and you will be one of the
goalposts.
|
