Butlins

100

10.40 a.m. R Thompson (12) R Livermore (17) J Purseglove (18)

After Moss had signalled the threesome behind to play through Ray Livermore hit his tee shot into the left-hand rough and it took he and his playing partners Reg Thompson and John Purseglove about three minutes to find it. After Livermore had whacked the wayward ball some fifty yards or so back onto the fairway and they all had set off after it Thompson said: "So this Englishman pitched up in this little village in the middle of Wales and the place was deserted except for this old Welshman sat on a bench at the side of the road, and the Englishman said to him 'Excuse me, I'm looking for a man called Evans. We met on holiday at Butlin’s recently; you wouldn't happen to know where he lives, would you?' And the Welshman said 'Well we've got a lot of people called Evans in this village, boyo, it's a very popular name in these parts, we have more people called Evans than we do Jones and we have a lot of people called Jones. Can you tell me anything about him?' And the Englishman said 'He has very blonde hair.' And the Welshman said 'It could be Evans the Butcher then, he has very blonde hair. Is he tall?' And the Englishman said 'No he's quite short actually.' And the Welshman said 'Very blonde and quite short, eh? That will be Evans the Baker then. Is he fat?' And the Englishman said 'No, he’s quite thin.' And the Welshman said ‘Very blonde, quite short and quite thin, eh? That will be Evans the Grocer then. Did he walk with a limp?' And the Englishman said 'No, he walked perfectly normally.' And the Welshman said 'Not him either then. Can you tell me anything else about him?' And the Englishman said 'Well like I said we met on holiday at Butlin's, he was in the next chalet to us and we got quite friendly, then on the last day of the holiday while I was out he had sex with my wife, then stole my best suit with my wallet and all my money in it, then shit on my doorstep.' And the Welshman said 'Oh you mean Evans the Twat.'"
     Livermore and Purseglove burst out laughing.
     “Wonderful,” said Livermore.
     “A cracker,” agreed Purseglove.
     By then they were almost upon Hartley, Critchlow and Moss who were waiting at the side of the fairway. Hartley was absolutely seething. He glared at them and said, "So it's something to laugh about is it? Us having to let you through?"