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| November 5 2001 Monday I bumped into Fatboy Slim today. Really! I was in Safeways pushing my mother's shopping trolley and trying to pretend I wasn't with her when there he was, as large as life, in the cafe having an all day breakfast. Fatboy Slim is a big hero of mine - anybody who can make a living by sampling other artist's material, thus saving himself the trouble of thinking it up for himself, has my complete admiration - so I went over to ask him for his autograph. He gave it to me willingly and was very friendly, so I sat down and took a bite of his sausage and two bites out of his bacon. He asked me what the fuck I thought I was playing it and I told him I was sampling his breakfast. He was livid! I would have thought that somebody who made a living by sampling other people's things wouldn't have minded me sampling something of his in the least, and I told him so. He said that there was a difference, because when he sampled something he always improved on the original, so I told him that I would be improving on the original because the sausage and bacon would be a turd very soon, and it was bloody awful when it was sausage and bacon so making it into a turd would be a big improvement, and he burst out laughing - probably because when he gets round to writing his autobiography he'll sample what I said and use it as his own. Went to the bonfire at night. After we'd let our fireworks off and the bonfire had died down a bit we had jacket potatoes, from the Asia Kebab House. An old bloke said that when he was a lad kids used to bake potatoes in the bonfire. I said what's the point of that when you can buy them already baked from the Asia Kebab House and he looked at me as though I was mad, the silly old bugger. Still there probably wasn't an Asia Kebab House when he was a lad. There probably wasn't an Asia when he was a lad! I'm glad he said what he did though because it gave me an idea for the school Christmas Concert. |