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| November 15 2001 Thursday Disaster! My dick has stopped growing! It's been growing steadily ever since I started puberty but I measured my stiffy this morning and it is still five and three quarter inches long, exactly the same as when I last measured it. There's no mistake either, it was definitely five and three quarter inches long, because I remember thinking at the time that it was exactly the same length as my mobile phone. I told Brain Damage and he said if I want a bigger dick I should get a bigger mobile phone. I told him not to be such a stupid pillock, because if all you had to do if you wanted a bigger dick was buy a bigger mobile phone everybody would be walking about with ten inch mobile phones. Stinking said it wasn't the length that was important but the thickness, and that anything with the diameter of a Pork Farms snack size pork pie or greater was fine. I'm dead worried about it because I've already fallen behind Stinking, whose dick is now six and an eighth inches, and Brain Damage, whose is sixteen point five centimetres. ( Which is six and a half inches, but he always refers to it in centimetres as it sounds more) At dinnertime I skipped school dinner and went into town and bought a Pork Farms snack size pork pie. I don't know yet if my dick is as thick as one because when I took it in the lavvy to compare it I dropped it on the floor and it broke into three pieces, and after I'd stuck it back together again and tried to balance it on my hard on it kept falling apart. Cleaned the rabbit hutch. Another rabbit has turned up! Naturally enough the smell was twice as bad. I was more pissed off than Cartman. After I'd cleaned the hutch I considered having a shit in it myself to let the rabbits know what it was like, but I'd have only ended up having to clean it out myself with the next load of rabbit shit, so I didn't bother. What a day! |