January 7 2002
Monday
We had our very first cookery lesson at school today . We
made herb bread, and we all had to bring a different
sort
of herb. I took some grass.
Well I'd forgotten all
about it and grass looks a bit like chives and nobody will
be eating it anyway because I'm going to fling it the minute I'm out of the school gates. One or two of the boys were
kicking off about having to to do cookery, claiming that it was
women's
work. The teacher said this was silly talk and that all
the best chefs were men, and that if we took to cooking one of us
might even be the next Keith Floyd. Stinking said in that case
he'd give it all his attention as he'd quite
like to be a piss artist when he grows up. The teacher said we
could bake the bread
into the shape of our choice, so out of the seventeen loaves
baked sixteen were
shaped like dicks. The only one that wasn't was Shawn Armstrong's,
which was shaped like a fanny - well he
said it was supposed to be a fanny but it looked more like a
bucket to me.
I was telling Solly Goldfarbfinklestein about my trip to the doctor
to see about getting circumcised, and the long waiting list. He said that if I was
Jewish there wouldn't be a problem because the Rabbi
did it for nothing.
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