Razzamatazz - British comedy

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January 20 2002
Sunday

    Went to the zoo again with Mr Higginbottom. That is we set off for the zoo, but on the way there he asked me if I'd rather go to Dalton Towers theme park instead. Would I! Dalton Towers is better than Blackpool Pleasure Beach and Alton Towers rolled into one, and we had a really brilliant time. I was sick three times, and as being sick twice is the mark of a good theme park you can tell how good Dalton Towers is, and if you've never been there you just haven't lived. Mr Higginbottom still doesn't seem to mind that it's me who keeps turning up instead of his son. Personally I don't think he'd bother who turned up as long as somebody did, because if you ask me he's one of those lonely sort of people who need to be with other people before they're happy. I certainly don't know where Stinking is coming from when he goes on about him being a bastard because he just couldn't be nicer to me, really. For example, when I fell off one of the rides and hurt my thigh; where my father would have said something like "You clumsy bloody idiot", Mr Higginbottom put a comforting arm round my shoulders, rubbed it better for me, and even suggested that we go into the toilet and I removed my trousers so he could get a better look at my thigh to see if there was any serious damage. I said that wouldn't be necessary, but the thought was there. On the way back, knowing how much I'd enjoyed the curry we had last week, Mr Higginbottom stopped at a really excellent Indian restaurant. I'd never had a fifteen course Indian banquet before and it was quite magnificent. I got home about ten, a tired, full, but very happy boy.