Razzamatazz - British comedy

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December 7 2001
Friday

     Great news! According to Brain Damage, who has seen it advertised in a sex aids brochure on the internet, there is a gadget you can buy that will increase penis size. I can't describe how happy this has made me. Apparently the penis enlarger is a sort of suction thing that you put your dick into and then pump it up, and it sort of massages it into extra growth. The bad news is that the cost is a hundred and ninety pounds plus seventeen and a half per cent vat. If it enlarges my penis by seventeen and a half per cent it will be money well spent! I'm afraid I'm going to have to put my flamethrower (Which I have started saving up for in case I decide to become rap artist Mellowboy Titty Titty) on hold for a bit though, and put the seventy three pounds I've saved towards the penis enlarger. That might be enough, because both Brain Damage and Stinking quite fancy having a bigger dick too, so it's just a matter now of agreeing how much each of us contributes towards the cost, since both Stinking and Brain Damage are claiming that they shouldn't pay as much as me as their dicks are already bigger than mine, and that therefore they wouldn't benefit as much. Mates!
     Chips and double cheese baconburger with a fried egg on top again for tea, but I usually get that on Fridays anyway, so I don't know if my mother is still showing me affection and understanding or not.