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| December 21 2001 Friday I've only got to buy Brain Damage's sister Tiffany Michelle a wedding present! She sent me a 'Wedding List'. You ought to see it, there's nothing on it under fifty pounds! If she cops for everything on it I'd consider marrying her myself. Here's a sample. Fridge. Freezer. Fridge/Freezer. Television set, wide screen only please. CD Player. DVD Player. Digital Camera. (I'd definitely consider marrying her, because it's the only way I'm going to get one) Mini Hi Fi System with Dollby.(Her spelling, not mine) Leather Chesterfield. Leather Sheffield. (Actually there's no such thing as a Leather Sheffield, I made it up, but if there was such a thing it would be down on the list for certain, because everything else is) Grandfather Clock. Grandmother Clock. Ferrari. And so on and so on. I showed it to my mother and she said that in her day you asked for toasters and bathroom scales. I've got news for Tiffany Michelle, my mother's day has arrived again because she's getting a pair of bathroom scales, and only then if they've got some at the Oxfam Shop. It is insurance day again and the Insurance Man hasn't called for his money again. I suggested to my mother that she should take it round to him as he only lived up the road, but if she did to make sure he wasn't up a ladder. My father has bought four new rabbits, two male and two female, and installed two of them in the old hutch and two in one of the new hutches he is building. I think the two females are together and the two males are together, because I haven't seen any shagging go on. Plenty of shitting going on though, worse luck. |