The Real Adrian
Mole
Hiya, I'm Adrian Mole,
aged 14 ¾. I live with my parents, Geoffrey and Una Mole. My father is
an air hostess and my mother is a traffic warden. I suppose it's possible that
there could be more embarrassing professions for a boy's parents to have, but I
can't think of one. Lavatory attendant, maybe. But even lavatory attendants
keep a low profile, they don't walk down aisles pushing a duty free trolley or
parade the streets harrassing motorists, like my parents do. Fortunately none
of my friends know what my parents have to do to make a living because I've
told them that my father is a pilot and my mother is an undercover policewoman.
To say that I don't get on with them is a bit like saying that George Bush
doesn't get on with Osama Bin Laden. In fact I'm far from convinced I'm their
son, and suspect that when I was born they mixed up the babies at the hospital
and their real son is some nerdy no mark or other and my real parents are
Pierce Brosnan and Carol Vorderman.
When I was born
in 1987 they christened me Adrian, thus saddling me with the name Adrian Mole.
What on earth possessed them to do this remains a mystery, but they're adults,
right? When I was very young I wasn't aware of the effect that being called
Adrian Mole would have on me in later life, otherwise I might have topped
myself there and then. It was only when I started school, and the older
children started making fun of me, that I realised how much grief it would give
me, but I didn't find out the reason why until after I'd learned how to read
and my parents bought me the book 'The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole aged 13
¾'. I mean what is he like? And I've been given the same name bloody
name as him! Anyway the thing is, because of that book, all my life I've been
compared to the fictional Adrian Mole. I've lost count of the number of times
people have asked me how my spots are, or how are things with me and Pandora.
Some daft sods even think I am him! So I'm starting this diary to show
everybody what the life of the real Adrian Mole is like.
If you enjoy reading my diary, and like me you're a
kid, put the name of this website, www.razza.fsnet.co.uk on your school
noticeboard so that your schoolmates can log on as well. Then tell any friends
you have who go to other schools about it, so that they can do the same,
because the greater the number of people who know that I'm nothing at all like
that wet twat in the book the better I'll like it!
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