Welcome to the Razzamatazz
website. Within you will find well over a fifteen hundred pages of good old
British comedy (all the bad old foreign comedy having been filtered out, except
for the Saddam Hussein's haemorrhoids/chilli suppository joke).
ODDS AND SODS
is a compendium of British comedy, around fifty comic items, sketches, spoofs,
stories, games, crosswords, cod advertisements, roadmaps, menus, etcetera. Fun
for all! Note - the item called By Kind Permission Of Peter Kay is not by kind
permission of Peter Kay.
THE OYFORD ENCYCLOPEDIA is a one thousand
entry reference book containing entries such as 'Effing Forest -
Epping Forest when one is walking through it and bangs one's head on an
overhanging branch.' and 'Embarrassing Hair - Hair which shouts
"Hoy, Fatty!" to passers by and generally behaves in an uncouth and uncivilised
manner.'
CISSIE AND
ADA is a collection of some of the scripts I wrote for Les Dawson when I
worked for him as a scriptwriter during the years 1978 to 1983, originally on
two series of the BBC's 'The Dawson Watch' and thereafter on several series of
'The Les Dawson Show'.
AIR
MAIL is a compilation of letters about requests for information, letters of
praise, but mostly letters of complaint, written by me, to around fifty
different airline companies, and the subsequent correspondence between us. Some
of the letters would appear to be beyond belief but I assure you they are 100%
genuine. Anyone fond of lasagne will love it.
DEAR CUSTOMER SERVICES is in the same vein as Dear Air 2000, but is
correspondence to food manufacturing companies. Again all the letters are
completely genuine, even the letters to Jacobs Bakery about the Jacobs Club
Foot Biscuit.
JAMES BLOND MI6 Secret agent James Blond is definitley not like the fictitious secret agent and cinema icon James Bond.
He's much more daring and bulletproof. And he sleeps with more women.
STAR TERK TWO is a fifteen minute free download
excerpt from my award-winning BBC radio series of the same name. Listen to all
your old favourite Star Trek characters including Captain Kirk and Mr Spock -
although for reasons that soon become obvious they begin their first mission as
Captain Krik and Mr Pocks - as the intrepid crew once more do battle with
syntax and creatures in outer space, including their old adversaries the
Klingons, who even turn up one day on the Enterprise's starboard bow.
FOOTBALL CRAZY is a comic novel about Frogley Town, an extremely
impoverished north of England football club who ply their trade in the lowest
reaches of League Two. The club takes on a new lease of life when it is taken
over by local bigwig Joe Price of Price's Pies. Lots of sex, chicanery,
heartache and moaning, but very few goals.
A GOOD WALK SPOILED is a
comic novel about the noble game of golf. The action takes place on Captain's
Day at Sunnymere Golf Club as the members vie with each other to win the
prestigious Captain's Prize. Features lots of nudity, deaths, sex, drugs and
rock and roll. Oh, and there's a bit of golf in it too.
KREEEGANS is
the comic story, in screenplay format, of the visit to Earth by five aliens
from the planet Kreeeg. Their planet is dying and it is the Kreeegans mission
to find a new world they can inhabit. The planet Earth is on the short list.
They very soon begin to wish it was on the long list.
BRIAN BROADSIDE Brain-cell challenged Brian
Broadside is Britain's most bigoted man. Think Harry Enfield's self-righteous
brothers, add a touch of Adolf Hitler and a soupcon of Oswald Mosley and you
have Brian in a nut shell. He should be in a nut house. But it takes all sorts,
as they say.
THE REAL ADRIAN MOLE is the diary of another, more
realistic adolescent than the other Adrian Mole, who the Real Adrian Mole would
probably call a wet, whinging twannock. Like the other Adrian Mole he is
obsessed with the size of his penis but unlike the other Adrian Mole he decides
to do something about it.
THAT OTHER PETER KAY is a collection of scripts written in
the style of the Bolton comedian. If you like Peter Kay you'll like this.
A FUNNY OLD WORLD is a selection of pages from the weblog I ran from 2003 to 2006 which proves
that reaching the age of sixty five doesn't preclude you from
still have a bit of fun now and then.
Terry
Ravenscroft
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